After two weeks swanning about in eight-inch platform pumps, wearing skinny jeans so tight they’d make a straight-jacket jealous, GRLmobile’s Fashion Maverick has confessed that coping with the numerous injuries sustained while being a fashionista-en-Paris can prove to be a genuine battle of wits and grace. We’ve realised that there’s a gap in the safety protocol and hereby declare that the status of ‘fashionista’ should come with its own OH&S manual. To get the ball rolling, here are our Top 10 Fashionista Injuries for Spring/Summer 2010, how to avoid them, and how to handle them if they happen:
| Injury #1 The sky-high heel fall | How to avoid it… When descending stairs, think Princess. One hand lightly resting along the balustrade will guide you down safely. If you’re simply walking along, just be confident! And there’s nothing wrong with a bit of practice at home before you leave the house. | How to handle it… Grace and humour. A coquettish blush and gracious smile will excuse even the clumsiest collapse. |
| Injury #2 The push and shove at colette in Rue St Honore | How to avoid it… If you’re agoraphobic, shop from colette online. | How to handle it… Just enjoy it – you know we’re all jealous back home! |
| Injury #3 The bruised and bashed mid-calf, arm-band rings and welts from carrying too many large designer shopping bags. | How to avoid it… Buy less. Um, are we serious? Of course not. Hire a driver for the day, you silly girl! | How to handle it… Hemorrhoid cream will relieve the bruising fast enough to get you off to the front row without too much evidence. |
| Injury #4 The power-shopping amnesia, when you forget what you bought the day before. | How to avoid it… Use your phone to make a list of what you’re looking for and cross things out as you go. | How to handle it… That extra pair of Chanel clogs will make a valuable vintage hand-me-down for your daughter / niece / protégé in years to come. |
| Injury #5 The super-skinny jean suffocation | How to avoid it… Couple relaxed fit jeans with a t-shirt and tailored jacket and fedora for a real supermodel look. | How to handle it… Just deal with it. You look hot. |
| Injury #6 The short black coffees at the original Rue Cambon Chanel store for ‘the special clients’ (served by the Moroccan Chanel-clad waiter) that blows out your brain and you spend more. | How to avoid it… Don’t ask for decaf, as you may be shunned. Just drink half of it. | How to handle it… Handle that gorgeous waiter with the classic sideways glance from smoky eyes and a slight pout of muted, red lips. And hey, if you’re buzzing on caffeine, and spend more than you planned to, well, remember that Chanel will always increase in value (asset / investment / nest-egg)! |
| Injury #7 The arctic nest – suffering from heat exhaustion and severe sweat slick by wearing your bespoke Maticevski plumage jacket and knee-high Miu Miu boots du jour in unseasonably warm weather. | How to avoid it… Check the weather report before you plan your WHAM BAM POW outfit. | How to handle it… A handbag-sized baby powder is your BFF for absorbing moisture and creating a silky-smooth feeling throughout the day. |
| Injury #8 The paparazzi blinding as you arrive at the show | How to avoid it… Whip out your oversized sunglasses before you run the gauntlet. | How to handle it… You can’t avoid it, especially as long as you’re carrying that Chanel Cocoon puffy bag. Anyway, you’re a fashionista, dahhling. Your public needs you. |
| Injury #9 The ‘I just nearly dropped my…’ technology heart attack – when juggling the BlackBerry, phone, camera, handycam, iPod, notebook etc. | How to avoid it… Combine, combine, combine! Most devices now can to all those things in one package. But far be it for us to discourage you from using technology… we say BRING IT ON! | How to handle it… Oh, this is so easy. Dropped your phone? Your dongle? Your iPod? Log on to GRLmobile.com. We’ve got ‘em all at rad prices. And if you’re a GRLinsider, you get free P&H within Oz. Sweet!! |
| Injury #10 The credit card statement aneurysm | How to avoid it… Set your credit card limit to a level that you can afford if you max out. | How to handle it… VAT (value added tax) justification. The more you spend, the more you save. It’s simple mathematics. Don’t question it. Just go with it. |
No comments:
Post a Comment